BLOOD AND BONES

Early yesterday morning, as usual, I started my day by shovelling poop.  I was going to say ‘shovelling shit’, but although it has a certain ring to it, it is a vulgar expression and I am genteel, so I decided against using it.  Anyway, after I had picked up all the excrement which the dogs had, well, excreted during the night, I hosed down and disinfected the back of the house, the side, the garage, the front, and the other side.  After turning the hose off, I went back to the garage to sweep away the water that always collects near to the gate. 

WTF!! There was blood everywhere! The garage looked like some creature had bled to death in it.  It wasn’t there a few minutes before, and I had not heard any barks, yelps, growls or anything else that would have alerted me that one dog had the other in a death grip, but I just knew right away that either Rescue or Sahara had really bitten Aslan badly this time.  My heart started to jackhammer and I ran to the back of the house where all the dogs were lying in front of the back door, waiting for me to let them in the house. 

Aslan and Sahara got to their feet when they saw me – Aslan because he is skittish, Sahara because she is nervous and always seems to be expecting a blow.  The other two didn’t move a muscle – Rescue was on his back, feet waving limply in the air, while he let the early morning sun tan his exposed tummy.  Hope was sprawled out on her stomach seemingly fast asleep. I managed to grab Aslan before he could bolt and anxiously ran my hands over his body, fully expecting them to come away covered in gore.  Nothing.  I did it again, this time more carefully, but still nothing.  I checked Sahara and Rescue and Hope.  Nothing, nothing and nothing.  Maybe one of them had caught a bird.  Maybe there was a criminal with a bleeding gunshot wound hiding somewhere in my yard. Maybe I had hallucinated the whole thing.  I even went back to check – no, the blood was still there, more pink now than red as it mixed in with the water on the ground left from when I had hosed down the garage. 

I couldn’t figure it out, so I decided to let it go and washed the garage again and swept away the water.  Calling the dogs to me, we all went inside – Rescue barging in front of everyone as usual.  There is a school of thought that dogs should never enter or exit a room in front of a human because it gives them illusions of superiority.  I think that is a lot of doggy excrement – I want my dogs to go ahead of me, that’s what I pay them for – to take the bullet in case there is an assassin waiting to kill me. It is a good thing I think like this too, because by his going ahead I was able to see the bloody paw prints that Rescue left on the tiles – his right front paw was leaking a small river of blood. 

When I looked at it closely I realized that he had managed to break off one of his toe nails and that it had broken below the quick.  They always warn you not to cut a dog’s toe nail below the quick or it will bleed, and I’ve had birds whose nails bled when I was clipping them, but I never realized just how copiously one little nail could bleed.  Of course, in calm retrospect, I realize that it was not a blood bath that I had seen in the garage, but a little blood mixed with a lot of water.  The worse part of the whole thing was that Rescue did not even seem to notice it.  This is why I need a prescription for Valium.

After feeding the dogs and doing some more morning chores, I got dressed to go out.  When my dogs see me undressing they get very alert.  When I actually turn on the shower they become restless and by the time I am dressing they are pacing the floor.  I used to worry that these were signs that they had separation anxiety and I read several books on what to do about it.  It took me a while to realize that what I thought was anxiety was actually happiness, because they were soon going to be faced with a win-win situation.  Either I would take one or more of them with me, or they would be one of the ones being left behind who would get a treat.  They couldn’t lose whatever happened. 

That day they were all getting treats as nobody was going with me.  I stuffed two Kongs with cheese, kibble, peanut butter and hot dog sausages for Aslan and Hope, who were staying inside, and I took two huge bones out of the freezer for Rescue and Sahara who would be taking the outside guard duty shift that morning.  I am saying that sarcastically because those two pit bulls would probably end up guarding any thief who came around them.  I boil very large beef bones with vegetables and garlic and keep them wrapped separately in the freezer to give to the dogs when I might be gone more than 3 or 4 hours as it keeps them occupied for a long time.  Since we got Sahara I’ve never given her a bone, but she took it willingly enough and of course Rescue took his like it was manna from heaven. 

When I got back home the bones had disappeared.  I was a little surprised that they had been able to eat the whole thing, because these were huge, very hard bones, but I knew that Rescue’s jaws could pulverize steel beams, so I didn't think much of it.  I let the two inside dogs out and they immediately went around the side of the house to go potty.  Aslan soon came back inside, but Hope remained outside and when I looked through the window I could see her busily digging a hole in a vegetable bed that I’ve been trying to grow melongene plants in for the longest while.  She was a little distance from the melongene plant, but I knew it would only be a matter of time before she backed into it or trampled over it, so I called her inside.  It was time for dinner anyway.  I fed the dogs and Hope disappeared again right after eating.  I went on the computer and forgot about her.  Unlike the other dogs she can still squeeze through the security gate, so she more or less comes and goes as she likes. 

About twenty minutes later I heard a noise from the front door and when I went to investigate, I saw that Hope had come inside and was now struggling to drag something through the bars of the gate.  Mission accomplished, she trotted happily into the living room with the biggest, nastiest, bone you have ever seen in your life clenched determinedly between her jaws.  Her mouth was stretched open to capacity to accommodate the bone which was about the same size as her head, and her neck was also stretched to capacity to keep the bone from dragging on the ground.  I have no idea how she got it all the way inside, especially as the journey involved several steps up, and several steps down as well as crossing two drains. 

Aslan woke up from his snooze on the couch, sniffed the air and immediately jumped down to investigate.  Without losing her grip on her treasure, Hope growled menacingly at him and he backed off a little, eyeing her warily while clearly wondering how to get the bone away from her.  She growled again and he backed further away.  She can get up on the couch only if she takes a gigantic leap while in full flight, and there was no way she could make that leap with that enormous bone in her mouth, so she wiggled under the couch and proceeded to gnaw at it, dirt, pebbles, dry leaves and all. 

 It wasn’t too long before Rescue got wind of what was taking place and tried to force his bulk under the couch too.  Unhindered by the bone which was now in a death grip between her two front paws, she snarled like a wild cat at him.  Unlike Aslan, he did not demean himself by backing off, but he didn’t advance any further either. 

 I was in a quandary about what to do.  On the one hand, I was extraordinarily impressed that this little puppy was able to sniff out a bone that one of the older dogs had buried probably hours before, especially as the rain had fallen that afternoon.  Not only that, she had struggled and laboured to drag it from its hiding place at least 50 or 60 feet, across drains and up steps and then through a fairly small opening and was now guarding it tooth and nail from a pack of dogs four times her size.  But on the other hand – she sleeps in my bed and her paws and mouth were filthy!!! So I did what any sensible dog owner would do – when it was time to sleep I put her on my husband’s side of the bed!